Quill & Answers

Welcome back to the final edition for Quills and Answers of 2019-20. Who would’ve though with me typing this up in my bedroom wearing the same clothes for two weeks, and drained from College Board’s attempt at an exam? What a world we live in. Anyway through all of the chaos, one thing that has managed to continue is Quills and Answers, as we are not stopped by global pandemics. Thank you for the ongoing support despite this crisis and also thank you to the men and women serving on the frontlines for their service to stopping the coronavirus.

Q: Who are your top 3 and bottom 3 presidents

A: Top 3 Presidents:

George Washington – Greatest because he gave up power after 2 terms to set a positive precedent for the democracy to come. This is a very hard thing to do as he was pressured by pretty much everyone he knew to keep running as president for many more terms. This is also the major roadblock that keeps fledgling democracies from thriving and usually causes them to become autocratic regimes.

Abraham Lincoln – Brilliant wartime leader whose speaking ability is world-renowned. Life was cut short too soon.

FDR – Actually put effort into saving the Great Depression (although he did go too far at times). However, I rate him more for his foresight into a potential world war while battling the isolationist feelings at home. Yes he violated the two term precedent, but that shouldn’t detract from the good decisions he made.

Missed the cut: Eisenhower (underrated military general who actually turned out to be a good president), Jefferson ( wrote Declaration of Independence and set the standards for which the country would run on the principles of democracy. Oh well except for equal rights.) , Reagan (free-market advocate; although he did mess up some things, he created a good stable economy for the US. Yes he did some things that people really don’t like but the country still loved him at the end of his term right?)

Bottom 3 Presidents:

Just missed the drop zone: Richard Nixon (Watergate), Gerald Ford (Didn’t last an entire term and claimed that the eastern bloc countries weren’t under influence from the Soviet Union. However, he will be remembered for pardoning Nixon), William Henry Harrison (He didn’t do too much wrong but he died 31 days into office), James Buchanan (You know I’m going to let sectional rife continue and when asked to do something I’ll just say none of my business).

Herbert Hoover – Free-market president who claimed that the Great Depression would “fix itself” and did absolutely nothing. Out of touch and pretty helpless. It’s not good when the poor people are naming your shantytowns after you.

Donald Drumpf – I know his presidency isn’t over yet, but i just can’t hold this in. He’s had questionable race opinions, flip-flopping viewpoints on lots of topics, and a White House staff that is a complete shambles (really Michael Flynn? YOUR OWN STAFF TOLD YOU NOT TO HIRE HIM). But even if we ignore everything that has happened over the last three years, you can’t ignore the fact that he’s still being partisan during a global pandemic. He hasn’t locked down the country, and he’s got a bunch of cronies running his coronavirus task force instead of actual doctors. He’s also breeding doubt into these health officials which is going to mean more and more people will do dumb stuff. I get why people want him to stay elected, but when does it eventually become a morality issue?

Warren G Harding – Somehow this guy is still worse. Another free-market dude who did nothing to regulate which was a big mistake. But that’s not the worst part. He was a person with very questionable morals. There’s the Teapot Dome scandal (just look it up) that crippled his administration, He also held extravagant parties, gambled away a lot of the White House’s artifacts, and cheated on his wife in a White House closet.

Q: How do I not die?

A:

1. Don’t go outside for superfluous reasons.

2. Be extra vigilant in staying germ free.

3. In the event you need to go outside, wear a mask and maintain social distancing.

4. Amazon packages can have corona so be vigilant. (Sanitize your employees, BEZOS)

5. Don’t inject Lysol into your veins.

6. Be Patient. Does this suck? Yes? Do you feel like you have no motivation? Likewise. Do you feel dejected that your summer is ruined? Me, too. Point being life really sucks right now, but we have to persevere through this crisis so that as few people as possible get infected and possibly die.

Q. You are overrated at basketball

A: ok

Q. If someone were to avoid their punishment deemed appropriate in a court case, what do you think would be a just punishment for said person?

A. Depends on the case. I have no context for the infraction here. If someone forgot to pay a parking fee, I wouldn’t throw them in jail. If someone leaves their house when they’re under house arrest then they’re going to prison.

Q. Is this China’s fault? Is this Drumpf’s fault?

A. Is it China’s fault? I think we should assume no because we have no conclusive evidence that China had anything to do with spreading the virus. They do have suspicious history of viruses and flus starting within the region but we can not say with any confidence level that it’s their fault.

Is this Drumpf’s fault? He’s more to blame for allowing the spread of it relative to other countries than as the root cause for the inception of the virus. In the end, both sides of the aisle are going to blame each other for this whole issue and we’re never actually going to know. Personally, I think there are a lot of people at fault and it would be safe to assume anyone who holds a significant seat in state and federal politics is to blame.

Q. Any conspiracy theories?

-5G towers spread the virus. (No, they don’t.)

-Lysol will cure the virus. (As aforementioned, no it doesn’t.)

-Sunlight will stop the virus. (No, it doesn’t. Why do we still have it during the summer then?)

-Hydroxychloroquine will stop the virus. (Why would a malaria drug stop the coronavirus? This is now an issue for people who struggle with malaria because now there is a drug shortage.)

-We should start hoarding toilet paper. (Not a conspiracy, just an incident of people following the lemmings. Way to start problems that never even existed.)

-Coronavirus is a bioweapon made by the Chinese. (Probably not true, and there is no evidence proving that it is true.)

-Coronavirus is a bioweapon made by the US and brought to Wuhan by US military. (Same sentiment as expressed in the above claim but switch the parties involved.)

-Army reservist started the coronavirus. (Why are you picking on a random woman like that? That’s just mean and also untrue.)

-Bill Gates started it. (It’s ironic that we’re abusing the man who predicted that we would get caught off guard by an infectious strain such as COVID-19.)

-All people of [Insert Asian ethnicity here] descent have the virus. (No, I don’t have the corona, thanks for asking.)

Q. Should social distancing restrictions be relaxed to preserve the economy?

A. Unless you want millions of people dead, no. I kind of understand the argument, but the economy will rebuild itself once people start going out more and buying stuff freely after the virus has passed.

Q. Who’s the best Minecraft player in the school?

A. Me, obviously. (it’s Reese Nelson)

Q. What’s your favorite bedtime story?

A. “Goodnight Moon” (illustrated by my great-uncle by the way. Not to flex.)

Q. How tall?

A. 9.87 * 10^-4 nautical miles.

Q. If someone were to fall off a bridge because of its construction, do you blame the constructor of the bridge, particularly if the bridge requires payment to use?

A. In a rightful world, yes.

Q. Who would win in a game of ping pong, Dwayne Johnson or Andrew Yang?

A. Andrew Yang

Q. How do you stay busy when not doing school work at home?

A. I’m learning programming and taking composition so those keep me busy when I’m not spending my time gaming with other people. I would get Netflix, but then I would be paying out of my own pocket and I don’t have the money for that. I wouldn’t say I’m not busy but sometimes it feels like I’m bored because of psychology or something like that.

Q. Is Reese good at Minecraft?

A. I wouldn’t say he is good. He just spends all of his free time on it.

Q. What are your favorite zoom backgrounds?

A.

1. Mr. Hoppe’s staff photo

2. Daniel Ricciardo

3. My dad

Q. Do you have any shows or movie suggestions for quarantine?

A.

1. Planet Earth (watching animals fight each other is incredible)

2. The Last Dance (Documentary about Michael Jordan on ESPN)

3. Tiger King (For the memes)

4. All of the Monty Python Movies

Q. My friend is charging 1 diamond for a stack of leaves. Do you think this is a fair price?

A. Considering in Minecraft that getting a stack of leaves is really easy to get and a diamond is really hard to get then I’d say no. Just get the leaves yourself with shears (made of objects that are also readily available.)

Q. How many squirrels have you counted in your yard?

A. Like 1? Maybe 2.

Q. What’s the best video game?

A. FIFA 20 (This answer was brought to you by EA Sports)

Q. How are you spending quarantine with Emi?

A. I’m spending it in eternal sadness.

Q. Is this the end of the world? If not when is the world going to end?

A. I don’t want to predict the end of the world. The coronavirus will not end the world because we will have a vaccine before everyone dies out. Something else will probably die.

Q. How are you dealing with the voices in your head?

A. I don’t have schizophrenia.

Q. What’s your guilty pleasure?

A. Chocolate sauce.

Q. Favorite olive oil?

A. Extra-virgin Olive Oil.

Q. How can the governments of the world solve the COVID-19 Pandemic?

If your citizens refuse to listen to medical advice you might as well just give up.

Q. Sephora or Ulta Beauty?

A. Sephora.

Q. Are masks effective?

A. Yes.

Q. How effective are they?

A. Depends on type, but the majority of them are.

Q. Should masks only be used in hospitals?

A. They should be used everywhere except at home.

Q. Will we be back in the fall?

A. It all depends on how many people are fraternizing with each other and when the vaccine comes out. Once the vaccine comes out, I think things will finally return to normal.

Q. Can we all go back if everybody has been quarantined?

A. Yes actually, because the virus would die out as it couldn’t spread to a new host. That’s why some people wish they could wave magic wands and have all of the people in the world stay 6 feet apart from each other for 2 weeks.

Q. What if families refuse to go to school because they have old people living with them?

A. If it’s still bad enough for this to be an issue, then we probably wouldn’t be going to school anyway.

Ben Tomasic, Perspectives Editor

Q: Is Canada Real?

A: Yes but it’s basically the United States because we both are in similar regions and share the same parent country (Great Britain).

Q: What is the exact width of your left foot?

A: 23cm

Q: Do you think March will be better than February?

A: Oh no.

Q: Where would you rather live, North Korea or Iran?

A: I mean it probably doesn’t matter because I will end up in jail within a month for dissenting against the government and then I would end up dead in prison or be executed.

Q: What is your worst habit?

A: Not cleaning my room.

Q: What do you fear?

A: I fear many things. My greatest fear is that I will fail so miserably that I will end up on the streets.

Q: Do you like boba?

A: Yes. It is addictingly good.

Q: Who are you voting for?

A: I don’t know but I’m probably going to be left unhappy with whoever is on the table because I can’t vote in the primary.

Q: Favorite Kobe moment?

A: I think my favorite moment was his game 4 buzzer beater over the Suns in 2006. It would have been sweeter if the Lakers had

managed to close out the series, but it is still an extraordinary moment.

Q: How many spiders are too many?

A: Depending on size and breed. If they are harmless and tiny then I guess as many as capacity allows. If it/they are venomous then 1 is too many because it can probably kill you and I don’t want to die.

Q: Do you think U.S. should manifest destiny Canada?

A: No, I don’t think we need to. Really we should be worrying about stuff in our own country. Wait. You’re saying there’s oil? Let’s take it all and party like it’s 1900.

Q: Are humans naturally inclined to war and hate?

A: There is almost 6 millenia of evidence to support this argument along with the contrary to this. Personally, I think yes. If we were not inclined to war and hate then society would not exist. We have society and laws in place to prevent us from going wild on people.

Q: Who is the best basketball coach?

A: Historically, the best pro coach is Phil Jackson. We’re going to forget his stint as GM in New York. Long story short he managed to keep Jordan and Kobe’s ego in check and won 11 NBA championships along the way. For historic college coach it has to be John Wooden because of UCLA’s dominance under his tenure.

Q: If the woodchucking rate of woodchuck is w(t) = 1.895(sin(|ln(x)|) 2 + 5 woods per minute, wood is being added to the woodchuck’s pile at a rate of a(t) = 4cos(x 2 ), and the number of woodchucks tossing wood at a time is n(t) = 2|sin(tπ)| + 1, how many woods would have been chucked at t = 60?

A: To figure this out we need to simplify the amount of wood being chucked at t=60. In algebraic terms what is w(60). However, we have a potential issue as the woodchucking rate is not independent of the rate of the wood being added to the pile. We have to remember that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood that does not exist in the pile. The first thing we should determine is the number of woodchucks that are tossing wood at t=60. To solve for n(60) we simply plug in the number into the equation so we get: 2|sin(60π)|+1. From this equation we get that 1 woodchuck is chucking at t=60 . Now we have to determine the amount of wood being added to the woodchuck’s pile at t=60. Since we get a rate we have to use the fundamental theorem of calculus to figure out the amount. We’re also going to assume that there is no wood in the woodchuck’s pile at time 0 so we now get: ∫ from 0 to 60 of 4cos(x2)=A(60)-A(0). We can now simplify the answers so we can solve for A(60) and we get 0…… We now know that the integral is equal to 0 meaning 0 wood is added to the woodchuck’s pile on the whole integral from 0 to 60. Meaning that because no wood is added to the woodchuck’s pile that no wood can be chucked at the instant a(60). Therefore at t= 60, 0 woods will be chucked as the amount of wood being chucked cannot exceed the amount of wood in the pile and since you can’t have negative wood the answer is 0.

Q: Do you think the Lakers will win the title?

A: (Assuming the season resumes) The Lakers will win if they can get out of the western conference alive because I think the Lakers will be a hard matchup for any eastern conference team. The question is: will the Lakers get out of the Western Conference and I’m very unsure of that. They will not have an easy path as pretty much every western conference team is ridiculously good. I think currently the Clippers hold the slightest of edges over Lakers especially with the Clippers recently acquiring Reggie Jackson and Marcus Morris. While the Lakers have also picked up extra help in Markieff Morris, there is one player on the Lakers who concerns me the most. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. He is the person who I think has the greatest potential to ruin the Lakers run and he will need to at least not be garbage for the Lakers to make the finals.

Welcome to Quills and Answers part 3. This edition was originally supposed to be published in the Falcon Quill Magazine. Unfortunately, an internal error led to a previously posted edition to be reprinted in the magazine. The Falcon Quill would like to apologize for the incident and the staff members at fault have been dealt with appropriately. Nonetheless, here is the third release of Quills and Answers with Ben Tomasic. Please continue sending questions to ben.tomasic@fwcd.com or through the Quills and Answers Google Form.

Q. What is real?

A: Depends on what you mean by “real.” Then whatever you believe is real is real. Every person has their own subjective standard for “realness.” The realest standard for realness is believing everything that occurs. The most unreal form of realness is believing you are living in a simulation.

Q. If you could visit any country in North Africa, which one would you visit?

A. This is a difficult decision. To be honest I don’t know much about the North African countries, but I think I would visit Morocco. It’s a tough choice as all of the countries have a very unique culture, but the one I want to visit would have to be Morocco. It’s a great place to see a mix of European, African, and Arab cultures.

Q. Thoughts on midterms?

A. While personally I object to the concept of midterms, I understand why Country Day reimplemented them. In college, there are exams at the end of every semester, so it seems logical for a college preparatory school to implement them as part of the curriculum. However, I feel that some of the teachers did not adjust for the implementation of midterms. It was thought that midterms would replace the massive project and test load that arrived at the end of every semester. However, in some classes, the projects and tests were included along with midterms, which makes studying for midterms ahead of time harder because a person would have to divert their focus to projects and tests instead of studying for midterms. Hopefully, the teachers will make proper arrangements to adjust to this change and grant the students more time to study for midterms instead of worrying about other tasks. Of course, saying this will probably get teachers to give us more work next year, but that is just my opinion.

Q. First, suppose that the famous ship sailed by the hero Theseus in a great battle has been kept in a harbor as a museum piece. As the years go by some of the wooden parts begin to rot and are replaced by new ones. After a century or so, all of the parts have been replaced. Is the “restored” ship still the same object as the original?

A. No, it isn’t. And also the ship isn’t restored because you replaced it with new parts which is completely different from restoring a part.

Q. Second, suppose that each of the removed pieces were stored in a warehouse, and after the century, technology develops to cure their rotting and enable them to be put back together to make a ship. Is this “reconstructed” ship the original ship? And if so, is the restored ship in the harbor still the original ship too?

A. Yes, if you used reconstructed parts and restored them, it is still technically original because it is made up of original parts that have been fixed.

Q. Suppose there is a town with only one barber. The barber shaves every man who does not shave himself. Does the barber shave himself?

A. Yes, he does because everyone in the town shaves themselves including the barber. Because every man who doesn’t shave himself would shave himself on his own because if he didn’t shave himself then he would be shaved by the barber. In summary, the town is a place where people must not have facial hair. If they do have facial hair they are forced to get it shaved by the barber who in turn also has to shave his own hair.

Q. Do you ever doubt the existence of others?

A. No, why do you doubt in my belief in the existence of others? That is the real question.

Q. Do you think aliens exist?

A. Surely they exist somewhere out in the world or maybe only a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Surely somewhere out in the vast universe that we have barely explored there is some life form like us out there. I mean our vastly expanding universe is too big not to have any other type of life form exist.

Q. Why do you try so hard at things you suck at?

A. We all suck at stuff and the point of life is to improve on things that we suck at. How are you supposed to get anywhere if you don’t improve on your weaknesses?

Q. Are you Chinese?

A. CULTURE LESSON. I consider myself Taiwanese; however, it depends on who you ask. The communist takeover of China in the early 1920s forced out the nationalist party, who were forced to flee to the island of Taiwan. However, China still claims Taiwan as part of China, but Taiwan is recognized as independent from China by many countries including the U.S. In conclusion, I identify as Taiwanese and the majority of people would consider me Taiwanese, except in China and a few other countries.

Q. How do I get the guy I like to notice me?

A. I am not the best person to answer the question because I am wired way differently than other people. What I can tell you is just to talk to the guy if you want to have a chance. That does not guarantee anything, but it is a sufficient start. By talking to guys you will also figure out whether you really like them or not. You could find yourself realizing that he is not the guy for you. However, you will never find out unless you ask.

Q. What size pants do you wear?

A. I wear a pants size that fits me.

Q. Are you subscribed to fellow FWCD student Camden Percifield at twitch.tv/itzdubseason?

A. No. I’m not here to do plugs for twitch channels unless its twitch.tv/karn_champ. However, on that note follow my youtube channel The Basketball Guy and watch my videos. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe.

The first edition to my Q+A Column is finally here after a very long wait. I would like to thank everyone who sent in questions. The more questions the better, and the longer this column can run. New questions will be released twice a month. The next edition will be released on Oct. 29.

Why is Ethan Thiccman so thicc?

Ethan Thickman is a legend man. Great man. Great Humor. Great Everything.

How long do you spend each day on your hair?

I don’t really spend much time on my hair at all because mostly it resists my attempts to comb it. The only thing that can hold it down is gel, but I’m usually too lazy to use gel. I usually just leave it alone. It probably looks different every day, but I really don’t care that much. I mean I definitely envy some people’s hair who I envy, but I just don’t really care that much.

How big are your hands? Small, medium, or large?

Small. They’re ridiculously small. I have no clue why. Dunno why you asked but ok.

Why do men with glasses have so much game?

Well playing off the logic that if you look good you play good then that’s your answer. So many incredible players like Kareem, James Worthy, and Amare Stoudemire. Look the goggles have special super powers that distract opponents from their game. They also help the players you know actually see what is going on on the court. All sarcasm aside, it is mostly a fashion statement. I mean why does Russell Westbrook wear glasses during post game interviews as part of his attire? It’s obviously a fashion statement.

What is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is a very subjective question that varies due to many outside factors that can influence your opinion on the question. This answer may not satisfy everyone, but this is what I think the meaning of life? I think the meaning of life is to train your progeny so that they can be happy. Wait what? Shouldn’t I prioritize my own happiness first. Yes, but you wouldn’t be happy if your kids ended up as hogwash. I will feel accomplished when I successfully raise kids and then they in turn successfully raise their own kids. I always worry that my kids will be less than standard so for me that would mean the world to me.

Have a question for Ben? Google survey links will be sent out periodically from co-editor in chief Diego Casanova, or contact Ben directly at ben.tomasic@fwcd.com, or contact the Falcon Quill directly at quill@fwcd.com.